My Only Response to the Haters and the Doubtful

I’m going to release a statement here on the record. I’m not defending myself, or even going to debate how this has unfortunately played out, but here’s the deal.

I’m the sole survivor here. The last one standing on this project. And I am so grateful for everyone who is contributing on Patreon. I am. I will shout praises regarding the quality of my patrons every day! But the $500 patreon brings in pays for some hardware upgrades and keeps the game in digital assets. It doesn’t begin to pay my mortgage, my car payments, the cost of putting three kids through school, and keep the lights on and food on the table. It just doesn’t. So I have to have a job.

I’ve got a salaried position that I’ve worked for a very long time that supports me and my family. I have to work that job. I don’t have a choice in the matter. In a good week, that job takes about 45 to 50 hours to do (I’m well compensated for it so I don’t complain). In a bad week, it can take upwards of 60 hours, on call. It is what it is. That’s the real job blues.

But late at night, when the kids are in bed, and the wife is busy doing her own thing, I sit in this office and work on this project. Sometimes on days like today when the family is out with friends, and everyone is out of the house, I spend the afternoon cranking out renders and making progress on the game.  I don’t do it because I have to. I don’t do it because I need the money. It’s a passion. I love what I’m working on, and I think as it goes on, it’s going to be a great story, a great game, and a lot of fun.  

If I could conjure more hours in a week, I absolutely would. I’d love to work on this game full time. But that’s not an option at this point. It’s just not. So I will continue to do everything I can with every free moment that I have. It’s just how it is. I wish it to be different just as much as you do, but I gotta carry the full weight of this thing now, and it’s heavy as hell.

This game will be finished! I am old, and I am stubborn as fuck and I will not accept abandonment as an option. But at the same time, I will not put out what I think is sloppy, sub-par work. I refuse to compromise on quality. I love this game. I love this project. I love the characters I’ve written, the story I’ve devised, and the art that I have so recently learned to create for the visuals. I will not put out anything less than my best! Doing so is cheating you, cheating me, and cheating the game.

I will continue to learn new skills, new techniques, and new work-flows that will help me produce the highest quality possible game, on my own. I fully expect as I get more and more comfortable and experienced, speed will develop naturally. As I learn new tools and new processes, I’ll find efficient ways to cut corners and achieve the net result with less effort. I will continue to grow and evolve as a creator and you will only get a better product as a result.

In the last few months there was a lot of change that happened all at once. The project got thrown in the air and turned upside down. But I’ve worked my ass off to learn everything I need from coding, rendering, visual art, etc to catch this thing and keep it from hitting the ground. I spent two weekends taking a 40 hour course on Python just so I could learn everything I would need so that I can do all the coding by myself. I spent another week doing 26 hours of photoshop training because I realized that if I can fix lighting, color and white balance issues in a few minutes in photoshop it will save me from hours of re-rendering in Daz. I’ve busted ass to try and fill the knowledge gap on my own in the vacuum left by my disbanded partners. I love this project that much.

So, in closing, know that in the meantime, I’m doing absolutely everything I can with what time I’m given to drive this thing forward. It’s been a rough few months. But I look for it to get better. I’m past the learning curve and all time now is spent on production. I will produce this game as quickly as I can at the highest level of quality I can produce. And fortune willing, if we ever muster enough support for me to do this full time, we’ll really kick some ass together.

But for now, if what I’m doing isn’t good enough, isn’t fast enough, or isn’t meeting your expected standards, then I encourage you to move on and check back with us in a year. You’ll be impressed with what’s been accomplished.

And to all my loyal patrons who have stuck by me in the meantime, you do not know how eternally grateful I am for your support. It’s not about the money. But by your contributions you are showing a vote of confidence in me. You are demonstrating with your hard earned money that you appreciate the all I’m giving and that you believe this will all be worth it in the end, and for that I cannot thank you enough.

Thank you for your support, your encouragement, and you’re appreciation! You are the very best, and I, with all my heart and soul, salute you!


(Now if you’ll pardon me, I gotta get back to work on this game! Cheers Mates!)

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